I love.

I love so hard it hurts.

I yearn so badly for the one I lost. But now I'm not so sure that it's him that I yearn for. I yearn for the security that it offered me. That idealism of perfection. I just want it to all be over. I want to be in someone's arms and have that be that. I don't want it to be a question, I want it to be a constant. And I'm hurting so bad right now. I'm hurting so badly for the one thing that I always tell myself that I can't rush. I just want it to be over with. I think that moreover it's the insecurity that it gives me. I am certain about everything. Except for this.

I've listened to this song on repeat all day.
It stirs something in me.
In my heart.
It invokes the love that I have into a raging thunder.
It invokes me to be me.

So grab my hand please.
Grab it and never let go.
Tell me that in the end it'll be alright.
because even though I know it in my heart
my head is having a hard time wrapping itself around the concept.


I hate nagging. Or feeling like I'm pushing something, but I need to know. I need this. Either with or without you, I need to close this. Because for some reason, God won't let me close it on my own. He keeps telling me to wait. But I'm not so sure my heart is strong enough for all that. I'm not so sure that I can take the strain that it's putting on me.


Pick me
Choose me
Love me



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Now playing: Me'Shell Ndegeocello - Beautiful
via FoxyTunes